Even a Chatterbox like Me Listens…
November 22, 2008
Okay, you’re probably reading that headline and thinking: ‘Chatterbox? GeekMommy, you hardly post regularly let alone frequently!’ and if we’re talking about this blog, well, guilty as charged. I’m trying to remedy that. But that last post of mine hit such a nerve that I was a little afraid about what to follow it up with. So I’ve been sort of, well hiding procrastinating. Waiting for the right escape route motivation.
But back to that chatterbox thing. Yeah, I was checking my stats over on Twitter tonight using Tweetstats and realized that even though I’ve toned it down a notch, I’m still one of the noisiest birds on the block over there.
Then one of the people I read and heed the most when it comes to anything on Social Media, Chris Brogan [@chrisbrogan] posted this brilliant piece on where to start if you are just getting in to the whole Social Mediasphere – If I Started Today.
How I wish that piece had been around when I first started trying to figure it out! It’s kind of like a shortcut on bypassing the early, awkward stages and getting right up to on-ramp speed.
But at the end of the, as he usually does, Chris asked for input from his community. Since I happened to be up right as he twittered it (who me? insomnia? nahhh) I noticed that he had left out the thing that I consider the most important part of learning how Social Media works – Listening.
It doesn’t surprise me that Chris forgot to add it initially – I think he does it so naturally it’s like breathing with him. Surprisingly, a lot of people jumping on the Social Media bandwagon these days think it’s more about being heard and don’t understand the power of listening. But Chris and pretty much everyone else I’ve learned from* over the past 18 months sure gets it. Listening is key.
Sometimes, because I’m so chatty (or noisy as some would say) people make the mistake of thinking I’m not listening. Then I end up repeating something back to them they said a few hours or weeks earlier and they seem stunned. You see, as much as I love to talk, share and inform, well… I love learning even more. You learn from listening, observing, and paying attention.
Granted, sometimes when I get excited about something you pretty much have to use a crowbar to get a word in edgewise – but rest assured, when you do get that word in? I’m actually listening to you, not just planning out what I will say next.
And that’s the most important advice I would give anyone wanting to know how to start in Social Media. Listen. Read. Get the rhythm of the conversation going on around you. That way when you start talking? You’ll have something really worth hearing.
Speaking of what you have to say? I’m listening!
*I’d list all of those folks I learn from but we’d be here forever – however, that is totally fodder for another post… hm. ~GM
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The advice I would “give anyone wanting to know how to start in Social Media. Listen. Read. Read. Read.
Great post! I hadn’t ever heard of Twitter stats or how to check them before, so there’s another way I can be obsessive about my online stats
Thaaaaanks.
Bummer, strike thru’s don’t work here. Feel free to delete this and the previous comment, thetywon’t come out right without html allowed in the comments (which would be my 13th rule of social media: let your commenters express themselves).
@hubs – aha!! I kept thinking “didn’t I just say that?” lol.
Yeah, reading, but listening too – I go to conferences, listen to broadcasts, podcasts, vlogs, and whatnot. Listening is different than hearing in my book. I can read something without “listening” to what is really in the piece too.
Now I think I’m trying to redefine that word a little too much, but yeah, agreed on the HTML – think it’s b/c the spammer/pornbots would have a field day!
Guilty of not being able to sleep, too. Great article by Chris.
I like your point on listening. I talk a lot too, and I try to catch myself if I’m being overwhelming. But I don’t stop listening. Although I still get caught with meeting someone and not using their name right away and losing it. So I will admit guilty to that here and there. But that’s usually because we may already be up to the point of engaging in a dialog, that we didn’t yet see the name value as we didn’t know where the conversation would go. Never be ashamed to ask the name again, it shows you value what that person enough to get beyond any embarrassment. But listen that time, and repeat their name when addressing them shortly thereafter to lock it in.
Your point about “not just planning what to say next”. That’s key. People get afraid they are going to forget their own point, and listening shuts off, but it’s also possible that if you listen, you’ll see that the point you don’t want to forget is no longer applicable where the conversation has headed. If it’s relevant enough you won’t forget it, and then you won’t miss the other person’s point.
I once called a co-worker out on the carpet for waiting to talk. He got kind of pissed and seemed to take it personal. I had a good enough relationship with the person at the time to behave this way, and figured it would help him out, but actually it happened often enough that his non-sequiturs made it clear that there were plenty of times anything I said didn’t even go in one ear and out the other. It was like he ducked out of the way and my words just head into someone’s else’s cubicle.
Now what were you saying about being a chatterbox?
TLDR
I see tha Chris Brogan updated his “If I started today” post on your advice.
He added a section on Listening.
@larzini – okay, you made me laugh – but I totally got your point. I’ve known one too many folks like your coworker friend. I always kind of wondered what someone like that takes away from a conversation. Do they walk away thinking “wow I made some great points!” not realizing that they missed an opportunity to really communicate?
@hubs – good thing I looked that up awhile ago – I never understood it before I did.
@Vicki – yeah he’s pretty amazing, huh?
It’s funny, I’m a total chatterbox in real life and I feel chatty on twitter or my blog, but really when I look at my stats I realize I spend A LOT more of my time listening than talking. And thankfully I’ve always been told by friends/co-workers what a great listener I am! I think it makes me much better at what I do – communicating definitely requires impressive listening skills!
It’s that age-old mantra – social media is about the conversation. It’s a two-way thing and if we don’t stop to listen, we may soon find out we don’t have anyone left to talk to.
Great post as usual, blabbermouth…
[...] Even a Chatterbox like Me Listens… [...]
I love reading Chris Brogan’s blog! There is something so fresh and insightful every time I read it. I completely agree with you about listening in social media. Just look at Facebook. It seems like many are under the impression that if you just send 100 messages to each person’s inbox about your personal product, then that’s effective social media.
[...] Even a Chatterbox like Me Listens… [...]
[...] Even a Chatterbox like Me Listens… [...]