Just Breathe.
November 5, 2009
I woke up today and my shoulder hurt. My back hurt. My ankle hurt. (Did I mention I fell down the kitchen stairs the other day?)
It was far too early.
I’m not a morning person by nature… usually, if I’m seeing the dawn it’s because I stayed up too late, not because I got up too early. Traveling eastward is somewhat nightmarish for me, as it puts me getting up even earlier than usual… whereas westward is soothing since I get an excuse to stay up later and the morning lets me sleep in just a bit.
My darling husband usually takes Buttercup to school in the mornings. This is good – because really, even when I am awake, I’m not sure driving at that hour is my best bet. But with enough coffee, a 5 Hour Energy, and a good reason, I can be “she who braves the cross-town rush hour traffic” and get my daughter safely there.
Of course, GeekDaddy being out of town usually provides the good reason.
This week he has been in New York and Philadelphia on business, so I’ve been on morning, afternoon, and night duty. This explains to those who know me why I fell down the stairs. I’m ten times more accident prone when my husband is out of town. He claims this is because I’m trying to get him to come home. I think perhaps my subconcious agrees with him. Because it seems to throw me down stairs, drop things on my head, sprain things, burn and cut and bruise things, and generally leave me in sorry shape whenever he is gone. He gets back tonight. I’m glad, because that means I’m less likely to end up in the E.R. before the weekend.
Where was I before I started rambling?
Oh yes, I woke up. I hurt. I got up anyways.
I got ready and got the kidlet ready 20 minutes earlier than usual. I say “than usual” because I was following GeekDaddy’s morning routine schedule with her. It usually gets them out of the house just in time to make it to school on time. I’ve discovered however that part of the issue with his routine is that it involves great stretches of a zombielike kidlet sitting on her bathroom rug staring off into space or playing with toys. It turns out that the right motivation gets her moving faster.
So, we managed to get one game of Mario Kart for the Wii* in before leaving for school (*cough* the right motivation) and then we took off with both of us just a little more awake than usual. It seems that crashing cars into each other and off cliffs does something for the adrenaline factor in the morning. Huh. Who knew?
As I drove her the 30+ minute drive to school, the sun was up. I was on my second cup of coffee. We chatted a bit. I ended up on a call with my best friend.
I dropped the kidlet off in her class, chatted with a few parents, headed out and got into my car… but before I started the engine, I looked out the window.
There, off to the West, were the snow-covered caps of the Rocky Mountains that rise up from the plains to eventually meet the Great Divide – where water flows mindlessly toward either the Atlantic or the Pacific oceans. There, off to the East, the sun was well on her way up into the morning sky… still low enough to cause drivers to need their sunglasses and to prove flipped-down visors useless, but turning the sky the most amazing shade of blue. The clouds overhead were not omenous or looming, just puffy little white sheep slowing drifting in their airy pastures.
I stopped.
I took a deep breath and expelled it with a somewhat more satisfied sigh of relief than I had expected from myself at such an early hour.
I thought about the world around me and my place in it. I thought about the changes that are looming by choice and those that were looming whether I desired them or not. I thought about the possibilities that each new day brings and the metaphors for the dawn and what the rising sun reveals. I thought about all the cliches that time has worn familiar: “the dawning of a new day” and “it’s always darkest just before the dawn” and “tomorrow is another day”…
And just for a moment – a mere moment of time – I was a “morning person.” I was optimistic and ready to go and carpe any diem I could find!
Then I laughed at myself for feeling a bit too much like a heroine in a badly written novel (no Jane Austen narrating my existence, thank you.) I started the engine, called my friend back, and drove home to tackle the dozen mundane tasks of work and life that hold no place in a novel of any sort.
But despite that… Here I am, writing about how sometimes, in the midst of the average day? It helps to just stop. And breathe. And think of all the possibilities…
*administrative note: this post was not made in conjunction with any brand or advertiser. No product was supplied or compensation of any sort given to the author. My daughter just happens to be currently hooked on the game MarioKart, so I’m putting it in here. But for the record? I fully endorse it – it’s a good game. I just happen to endorse it of my own free will.
Breaking Up the Band
November 3, 2009
Back in June, I wrote a post sharing my good news with anyone who would listen about my dream job and how it materialized when I least expected it to show up, but was most prepared to find it.
And then I promptly fell off the face of the blogging planet.
I’ve been really busy working a lot since then. I’ve also been really busy learning a lot since then. Mostly, I’ve learned more about the traditional side of marketing. But there were some unexpected lessons as well.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned I should’ve probably figured out somewhere in my twenties, but seemed to have missed in the quest to acquire such useful skills as casting bronze and living in a tent.* It seems that having two totally diverse visions only works well in collaboration if you are John Lennon & Paul McCartney (and even that didn’t last forever.)
In Plain English
Let me just ditch my tendency toward metaphor for a bit and put things down here as clearly as I can.
Over the past four and a half months, I’ve had the privilege to be the Director of Social Media for Collective Bias. But increasingly it’s been evident to both John Andrews (managing partner) and I that we weren’t heading in the same direction.
John and I have known each other since July of 2008 when he started the Walmart ElevenMoms program and asked me to be a part of it. We worked well together on that program and became friends along the way, so when he asked me to join his newly formed Social Media agency? It seemed like a natural fit for both of us.
But in a startup, the pressures are different than they are in an established company. Leadership really must be on the same page and the vision has to be pretty clear. You don’t have the luxury of spending a lot of time negotiating every little detail – there’s a lot of work to be done if you want to make it past the startup phase. And there are always too few people to do that work even in a well-funded startup. No man hours can afford to be wasted on anything that isn’t going to help the company move forward.
Striking the Wrong Chord
It didn’t take John and me very long to figure out that we weren’t harmonizing well. (Yes, we’re back to the music metaphor. I can’t help myself, it fits!) It’s not that we weren’t both accomplished artists, it’s that we were singing entirely different tunes. It was confusing the rest of the band… it was making things sound horrible to the audience… it was generally just not working for anyone.
When John first suggested to me that we really needed to re-evaluate the nature of my role in the company, I couldn’t hear what he was saying. After all, except in the fast-paced world of the Internet, we had barely started. I heard instead that he didn’t like my tune. So I resisted and kept insisting that we could figure it out if we just tried harder.
I was wrong. Trying harder isn’t always the solution.
It’s kind of like singing louder – it doesn’t make the tune any more pleasant, it just means that you either drown someone else out or you end up shrieking trying to be heard.Neither makes sense.
So a couple of weeks ago, I came to the same conclusion John had already reached. Something had to change. Someone had to back down. And honestly? It had to be me.
I had to realize that just because the band wasn’t going to sing the tunes I have in my head didn’t mean that those tunes weren’t good, and just because they weren’t mine didn’t mean that the ones John was creating weren’t good either. But I’ve been the metaphorical equivalent of a jazz singer trying to fit into a rock band.
Yeah, it took mere months & not years for me to figure out that this band wasn’t the right band for me and for John to figure out that I wasn’t the right singer for his band. So sue us. Maybe we don’t need to have a Yoko Ono to bear the blame. Maybe we’re smart enough to figure it out before we end up only talking through our press agents.
Whether or not anyone else thinks it was enough time to figure it out? We do. So after much conversation, we’ve worked out a transition plan that works best for us.
A Long, Lingering Note
So, at the end of November, I’ll be leaving Collective Bias as their Director of Social Media. We decided to take our time and do it right, so we can get everything transitioned and get the right person/people in place that will help John and his company to move forward with his vision.
If you’ll forgive me for sticking to my band metaphor past the point of prudence? I’ll be finishing a few gigs we already had agreed to while Collective Bias auditions my replacement and s/he learns their songs. I may even sit in from time-to-time down the road if they need me and I’m available (we call that ‘working contractually’ or ‘consulting’ in the non-music world.)
So, was it my dream job? Yes. And No.
But it was definitely worth pursuing to find out – as are all such dreams – and I would do it all over again. I was privileged to work with an amazing team of people and I learned a lot from each of them. I consider myself very fortunate to be given the opportunity.
Are we “breaking up the band” as I said in my title? No, not really. Collective Bias will go on to make their own Social Media music without me.But, after next month? I’ll be able to hang out in the audience enjoying their performances, while I keep working on the songs that are in my own heart.
*Those skills are real, but that’s a post for another day.
Twitter Lists – Hot or Not?
November 1, 2009
This week the rest of the Twitterverse got a look at the long anticipated Lists feature. Despite the polite request by Twitter for the beta testers to keep it mum, rumors had naturally leaked about their existence. The careful systemwide rollout by the Twitter team heightened the anticipation and excitement as more and more users logged in to see that the new feature had been added to their account.
The technorati have been weighing in with mixed reviews. Some folks like Robert Scoble love the feature and others like Chris Brogan find it to be less than desirable.
In the next few days to weeks, there will be dozens of posts on Lists – because it really is a radical change in the functionality of Twitter and will continue to have ramifications the effects on the usage of the platform.
Of course, like any good GeekMommy, I’ve done my own tests, research and analysis. And like any other blogger out there, I’m ready and willing to overshare share my findings with you.
Pros and Cons
For the sake of clarity, I’m resorting to ye olde bulletpointed list. It seems that embedding analysis in long paragraphs tends to get the information skimmed and comments pop up that get stuck on misconceptions.
On the Plus Side
I find it good to look for the positives first. After all, tools are created to be useful, right? And if I’m being candid, this tool can be really useful. Used beneficially, I can see where it’s very appealing.
- Sharing Great Resources – Lists make it easier for you to share good resources with someone who isn’t as familiar with the people you follow. If you’re a political wonk and know that 2 dozen people out of the thousands you follow already are the ones to read when it comes to current politics? Making a list for those who wouldn’t know which ones you’d suggest is an awesome tool
- Filtering Your Own View – granted, most people who want or need viewing filters have already switched to a 3rd party application such as Tweetdeck, Tweetgrid or Seesmic that allows them to create groups. But this is built in Twitter integration. The benefit of which is that all of those 3rd party apps will have to incorporate the ability to view Lists, so you don’t have to rebuild your groups if you move from app to app. The groups will now be lists and only have to be built and maintained in one place.
- Viewing Other Peoples’ Filters – Twitter used to have an awesome feature that you could view someone else’s twitterstream the way they saw it. Many of us used this as a good way to find new people to follow – you’d go to a user’s profile that you liked/respected/found interesting, click on the tab that let you see their stream and see what they saw. When that feature went aways it was a loss, because you could no longer put yourself in someone else’s seat. Now, with the ability to follow someone else’s public List, you can regain part of that functionality. Since Lists are currently limited to 500 members though, if the author of the List follows more than 500 people, at best, you can get a partial view. Still, if the List mirrored someone’s “preferred view” you might see what they look at most of the time in one of those apps like Tweetdeck.
- No Commitment – presently, when you follow someone else’s list, you’re simply giving yourself a link to that view, not following any of the list members. Again, it’s more like clicking over to see someone else’s stream than actually adding people to yours. Sort of a try before you buy. You can always click to view the members of the List and follow or unfollow folks from there.
On the Minus Side
- Noble Intentions Are Not the Norm – the potential for abuse/misuse of Lists is high. Let’s be candid, shall we? There will always be people who use something with the best of intentions and there will always be those who use it with the worst of intentions. If the beneficial uses outweigh the destructive ones? Then it’s a good idea. But relying upon people to not abuse something or use it for harm is naive. Let’s talk about how this feature can be abused, shall we?
- yes, this is a real troll lister
1) Negative Lists – it’s all well and good to find yourself on the “Really Smart People” list, it’s not exactly a joy to see your name on the “Stupid Egotistical Ass” list. Sure, we can say that people “shouldn’t care” or “should grow thicker skins” but ’shoulds’ and ‘ares’ are two different things. The truth is that most people are hurt when people say mean things about them. Especially in public. Worse yet? What if that list comes up on the first page of Google? Sure, it’s not supposed to mean anything really – but what happens when the HR person Googling your name comes up with a bunch of links to lists that are vile? Do you really think that impression won’t linger in the back of her mind?
2) Gaming Lists to Swindle the Unwary – for quite some time now, there has been an element on Twitter that has used high “followers” numbers to indicate to potential clients that they were some sort of “social media expert” and the unwary were not clued in to the number of tools that allowed people to ‘game’ that number using loopholes that allowed them to artificially inflate those numbers. Lists will be even easier to game. That the number of lists one is on is shown on a users profile page is a weakness that will be exploited. “I have over 50k followers and am on over 300 Lists for Social Media Experts” is a phrase that we can expect the unwary to hear as they are pitched by these “experts.” How can you game them? Far more easily than getting 50k followers. Each account is able to create up to 20 lists with up to 500 names on the list. Expect to see services that say “join this service and create 20 lists with names of other users and you will be on thousands of lists yourself shortly!” Yes, this will happen. Yes, the knowledgable will discount the influence of number of lists quickly. But just like people still think that number of followers means something as a metric, so too, they will look at number of lists as one.
- Unintentional Hurt or Offense – Chris Brogan covered this thoroughly in his post so I’ll just outline it simply. I know that we’re all supposed to be emotionally secure adults, unaffected by inclusion or exclusion from being put on someone else’s Lists. I know that more than one person is going to comment about that below. But can we drop the pretense? Even the most secure, well adjusted person feels a little twinge of disappointment when s/he isn’t included by someone s/he respects and thinks values them back. Sure, I don’t care what a stranger on the Internet thinks of me – but I sure as heck do care what someone I respect and value thinks of me. If I don’t make your “really awesome cool people” List? I probably won’t say anything, because I’d rather pretend that it was accidental rather than intentional… because finding out that it wasn’t an oversight? That would hurt.
You know what? I don’t want to hurt or offend or exclude anyone I care for. And I know I would. I know that at some point, someone I care about would feel left out or disappointed. I don’t want to be “that gal” – the one who left a dear friend off of the list and didn’t find out until years later that she was hurt but didn’t want to say anything.
- People Are Subjective, Not Objective – so you set out to make a list of “Thought Leaders” in your area. You’re adding people to your list when you realize that @UserX really should be on the list. S/he is generally considered a thought leader after all. But damn it all, you *hate* @UserX! You think s/he is a fraud. You just can’t bring yourself to endorse @UserX. What do you do? Pay lipservice to @UserX and add them? Or leave them off the list knowing full well that you are being less than honest with your list? Tough call, isn’t it. Emotions can and will play a factor in most peoples’ Lists.
- Changing the Twitter Ecosphere – this one I know won’t make a lot of sense immediately, but it will in a couple of months. Lists will change the way people engage on Twitter – and probably not for the better. The ability to follow someone *else’s* list without actually having to commit to anything will change things in the long run. As a new user, I now no longer have to commit to following someone to see them regularly. I can follow a list they are on and read that list whenever I choose. Do you know I’m interested in what you are saying? No. Do I know you exist? Not necessarily. Currently, if you follow me, I get notified. I go and look at your twitterstream and decide if you’re real, not spamming me, and not offensive. If so? I follow you. Now, you follow a list that follows me. You might @ me, I might @ back – but if I click through to your stream and see you aren’t following me? The likelihood I’ll follow you is slim. Have we engaged? Do we have a relationship? Nope, not really. What will this do in the long run? Not sure exactly, but relatively sure that it’s not going to help me connect with new people. The value of Twitter for me has always been in connecting with people and I suspect that value is just about to be diminished.
Well That’s Most of My Story
So honestly, if you made it through all of that (wordier than I intended again) I think you might understand why I am opting out of the whole “List creation” experience. I certainly don’t think it’s “evil” – but I think the negatives outweigh the positives.
I kind of hate the fact that I’m going to have to monitor the Lists people put me on semi-regularly to see whether or not I have to block some trollish attempt to put me on a derogatory list. Every moment that I have to spend doing that is one that I don’t get to interact with people I want to on Twitter. But I’m also not going to wait until Twitter figures out how to monitor their own nifty feature to see that it’s not abused.
I appreciate if you love the positive aspects of Lists. I just hope you now appreciate that there are negative aspects which I doubt Twitter considered when they implemented the feature.
What did I miss? Something positive or negative that hasn’t come up yet?
Add to my perspective please. But if you’re just going to say “people shouldn’t be offended”? Yeah, don’t waste your time. I already addressed that above under Negative Lists.
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