Just Breathe.

November 5, 2009

I woke up today and my shoulder hurt.  My back hurt.  My ankle hurt.  (Did I mention I fell down the kitchen stairs the other day?)

It was far too early. 

I’m not a morning person by nature… usually, if I’m seeing the dawn it’s because I stayed up too late, not because I got up too early.  Traveling eastward is somewhat nightmarish for me, as it puts me getting up even earlier than usual… whereas westward is soothing since I get an excuse to stay up later and the morning lets me sleep in just a bit.

My darling husband usually takes Buttercup to school in the mornings.  This is good – because really, even when I am awake, I’m not sure driving at that hour is my best bet.  But with enough coffee, a 5 Hour Energy, and a good reason, I can be “she who braves the cross-town rush hour traffic” and get my daughter safely there.

Of course, GeekDaddy being out of town usually provides the good reason.

This week he has been in New York and Philadelphia on business, so I’ve been on morning, afternoon, and night duty.  This explains to those who know me why I fell down the stairs.  I’m ten times more accident prone when my husband is out of town.  He claims this is because I’m trying to get him to come home.  I think perhaps my subconcious agrees with him.  Because it seems to throw me down stairs, drop things on my head, sprain things, burn and cut and bruise things, and generally leave me in sorry shape whenever he is gone.  He gets back tonight.  I’m glad, because that means I’m less likely to end up in the E.R. before the weekend.

Where was I before I started rambling?

Oh yes, I woke up.  I hurt.  I got up anyways. 

I got ready and got the kidlet ready 20 minutes earlier than usual.  I say “than usual” because I was following GeekDaddy’s morning routine schedule with her.  It usually gets them out of the house just in time to make it to school on time.  I’ve discovered however that part of the issue with his routine is that it involves great stretches of a zombielike kidlet sitting on her bathroom rug staring off into space or playing with toys.  It turns out that the right motivation gets her moving faster.

So, we managed to get one game of Mario Kart for the Wii* in before leaving for school (*cough* the right motivation) and then we took off with both of us just a little more awake than usual.  It seems that crashing cars into each other and off cliffs does something for the adrenaline factor in the morning. Huh. Who knew?

As I drove her the 30+ minute drive to school, the sun was up.  I was on my second cup of coffee.  We chatted a bit.  I ended up on a call with my best friend.

I dropped the kidlet off in her class, chatted with a few parents, headed out and got into my car… but before I started the engine, I looked out the window.

There, off to the West, were the snow-covered caps of the Rocky Mountains that rise up from the plains to eventually meet the Great Divide – where water flows mindlessly toward either the Atlantic or the Pacific oceans.  There, off to the East, the sun was well on her way up into the morning sky… still low enough to cause drivers to need their sunglasses and to prove flipped-down visors useless, but turning the sky the most amazing shade of blue.  The clouds overhead were not omenous or looming, just puffy little white sheep slowing drifting in their airy pastures.

I stopped.

I took a deep breath and expelled it with a somewhat more satisfied sigh of relief than I had expected from myself at such an early hour.

I thought about the world around me and my place in it.  I thought about the changes that are looming by choice and those that were looming whether I desired them or not.  I thought about the possibilities that each new day brings and the metaphors for the dawn and what the rising sun reveals.  I thought about all the cliches that time has worn familiar: “the dawning of a new day” and “it’s always darkest just before the dawn” and “tomorrow is another day”…

And just for a moment – a mere moment of time – I was a “morning person.”  I was optimistic and ready to go and carpe any diem I could find!

Then I laughed at myself for feeling a bit too much like a heroine in a badly written novel (no Jane Austen narrating my existence, thank you.)  I started the engine, called my friend back, and drove home to tackle the dozen mundane tasks of work and life that hold no place in a novel of any sort.

But despite that… Here I am, writing about how sometimes, in the midst of the average day? It helps to just stop. And breathe.  And think of all the possibilities…

*administrative note: this post was not made in conjunction with any brand or advertiser.  No product was supplied or compensation of any sort given to the author.  My daughter just happens to be currently hooked on the game MarioKart, so I’m putting it in here.  But for the record? I fully endorse it – it’s a good game.  I just happen to endorse it of my own free will.

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