Despite late nights at extended family birthday dinners and emotionally exhausting (despite satisfying) days for everyone in the GeekFamily, the kidlet and I have had a couple of serious heart-to-hearts right before bedtime in an attempt to process some of the more perplexing parts of behavior of other kids.

It seems my daughter comes honestly by the tendency to process the day’s events not as they happen but in one huge data dump right before sleep just like her mother.  While GeekDaddy has a tendency to wish the overly-chatty women could not attempt to discuss every nuance of their days moments before unconsciousness, the kidlet and I are often incapable of achieving sleep if events are not processed to a certain point beforehand.

For me, this has resulted in many a late night sitting in coffee shops with a good friend or on the phone with them trying to work through a flow-chart of “what-ifs” and probabilities.  It even led to my blogging habits and my initial Twitter forays – as there’s always *someone* to talk to on the Internet.

But when you’re 7 years old and in first grade, you’re sort of stuck hoping that one or the other of your parents is the sort who will work through things with you or relegating yourself to  just not sleeping well a lot.

The really cool thing as her Mother though?  Sometimes when I’m helping her work through stuff, I realize how parallel our situations are and how much I need to remember the particular lesson I’m trying to help her work through.

One of tonight’s themes was about caring about the opinions of those you respect or love while learning how not to take to heart negative words from those who fall in neither category.

Easier said than done, isn’t it?

So many of us are equipped with the standard, vulnerable and fragile human ego.  We learn early that we’re not supposed to care about the cruel words of bullies, strangers, or the spiteful — all the while secretly wondering if perhaps there’s truth to what they say and if we just can’t trust the people we should trust if they don’t agree.

This makes the average person susceptible to those few who actually are trying to make them insecure or hurt out of some misguided sense of power or revenge.   And it leads to a LOT of therapy for insecurities and trust issues and neuroses.  And a lot of people who could benefit from the therapy but will never go because secretly they’re sure that their worthlessness will be exposed.

I tend to feel more empowered when I remind myself that the weight of 1,000,000 random strangers telling me I’m not ‘worthy’ holds no candle to the weight of just one person whose opinions I respect, and who has truly taken the time to get to know me, saying ‘yes you are.’

]]> http://geekmommy.net/2010/01/26/taking-my-own-advice/feed/ 4 http://geekmommy.net/2009/04/02/thank-heavens-its-only-once-a-year-opinion/ http://geekmommy.net/2009/04/02/thank-heavens-its-only-once-a-year-opinion/#comments Thu, 02 Apr 2009 07:13:26 +0000 GeekMommy http://geekmommy.net/?p=578 You might have wondered why I didn’t post yesterday.  I mean, here I was getting all “caught up” and posting like a mad woman the day before then?

Radio silence.

Yeah, I know.  I probably just forgot or got too busy again, right?

Nope.  I deliberately didn’t post because of the date.  Not because I was afraid that anything I said might be read through the filter of “hey, it’s April 1st – was this a joke?” But because I really, truly, honestly don’t like 99.9% of the stuff I’ve ever seen or heard when it comes to April Fools Day.

I’ve never quite liked it.  But this year I spent a lot of time thinking about why.  For a long time I thought it was because I just wasn’t clever enough to come up with a really good April Fools Day prank.  Then I realized that almost no one comes up with really good pranks.  Usually what they come up with is really mean, nasty pranks that play on the gullibility of others, or mock others, and then use the phrase “April Fools!” to excuse it away as if it were funny.

The butt of these “jokes” usually tries to laugh along with the perpetrator saying “oooh! Good one! Ya got me!” as if to deflect any criticism that s/he is somehow lacking in a sense of humor… but the truth is that no one likes to be played for a fool.

The best reaction I’ve ever seen to well done April Fools pranks or jokes was “Wow. That was amazing.  I totally didn’t even catch that…” and sort of an awestruck silence.  But usually that’s when the joke doesn’t really make anyone look that foolish because everyone missed it… or because there really wasn’t a victim.

This whole thing was brought home to me again when I picked up my daughter from school.  It seems that kindergartners truly get the sense of this tradition better than most.  They do mean spirited things to each other – then say “April Fools!” where they’d normally say “Just Kidding!“

And no, before you go there, my darling daughter wasn’t immune from either side – she ran afoul of her own gullibility and was also more than willing to exploit her classmates’ gullibity as well.  But she did at least ask me why I hated April Fools Day so much.  And she thought about it long and hard when I said “because I think it’s just kind of a way of being mean to each other while making it seem like it should be a lot of fun.”

I do love to look at sites like Google and Thinkgeek.com to see what they’re going to put up.  But part of the reason for that is that I’m trying to spot the joke.  Then I can laugh because I knew going in that there was a joke.  Most April Fools jokes aren’t quite so widely anticipated.  And I can’t help but believe there are a few folks who fall prey to the online pranks and “funny lies” who find themselves feeling embarrassed or stupid for not catching it in advance.  Hence the fool part.  No one likes to feel like a fool, do they?

So why does the “holiday” persist?  It’s ritualized bullying in a sense – but where the victim can’t complain or s/he will be thought a poor sport or mocked worse for having ‘no sense of humor.’  And worse? It’s the bullying of the smarter, not the stronger.  A successful AFD prank indicates that the person who crafted it was more clever than his target – or it would’ve not needed the “April Fools!” reveal.  But what it also indicates is someone who is willing to abuse the trust that the other person has placed in him for the sake of “being witty.”

So I’ve opted out.  You might hear me opine sometimes “it would be funny if…” but I gave up pranking long ago.  Because even when it’s between 2 good friends? It starts being about one-upping the other guy pretty quickly and saying “but it’s all in good fun!” if anyone complains.

So no more April Fools Day participation from me.  Even in blog form.  I think it will be my one day off every year from here on out – no matter what other days I do or don’t post.  Or maybe I’ll just link this post every year right beforehand… who knows.  It’s another 364 days before I have to worry about it again.

That’s me though – what about you?

Do you think I’m over-reacting?  Did you pull the “World’s Best April Fools Day Joke” and want to tell me how wrong I am and why it was funny?  Or were you on the end of one and wished you could say all of this without looking like a stick in the mud?  What do you think about yesterday’s institutionalized “just kidding!” day?

GeekDaddy left sometime around 0-dark-thirty for a business trip to Philadelphia, so today was just me, Buttercup, and the cat & dog.  Plus freezing temperatures and horridly grey weather colored with a bit of snow for variety.

Tonight found me trying to put her to bed alone and now that she’s 6, realizing that it’s actually much harder than it was when she was younger.  When it was just us and she was younger, bedtime w/o Daddy just meant the same usual struggle as every night.  Now she’s more aware of it when one of us is out of town.  Makes for several more ‘I couldn’t sleep because…’ trips.

I have to say that while I love my daughter with every ounce of my being, it’s weeks like this that I wonder how single parents make it without totally losing their sanity.  Especially those that work and are pretty much without any nearby family to support them.  I think they are made of sterner – or perhaps less selfish – stuff than I.

I do suspect that far too many of them sacrifice sleep in favor of “just a little me time” at night after the child(ren) are asleep.  It would certainly explain that glazed look so many single-parent friends of mine seem to have even after their past the early years of infant-originated sleep deprivation.

I just thought I’d take a second to recognize how amazing you single-parents are… because it’s nights like this one that make me think how awesome anyone is that can do this as such and somehow manage to raise happy, healthy children.

Meanwhile, I’m going to bed – I somehow have to be up at 5:30a tomorrow to get my daughter to school on time.  It’s a good thing GeekDaddy comes home in a couple of days or I’d so be considering home schooling just so I wouldn’t have to drive before 9 a.m. on a regular basis!

Why don’t they have night school for kindergartners?

I learned a lot in just 1/2 a day spent at Ford’s Dearborn Development Center. I’m sure for the professional journalists, it was sort of an ‘old hat’ routine. Come in, listen to presentation, test new stuff, interview key people – then go write article. They do it all the time and it showed  by how comfortable they all were with the process.

For me? It was kind of a wonderland. I felt like the little kid who got to stay up late. I got to see inside this company I’ve known about all my life. I got to go on the bus to the super-secret place and see neat new stuff and get in cars and drive on the test track! Tell me that doesn’t sound like fun and I’ll tell you that you’re either a jaded automotive reporter or you’re just not getting it.

The really cool part was that the same enthusiasm I have above? It was also showing in the folks who work for Ford and took part in putting on this Media day.

From Sue Cischke (VP of Sustainability, Environment & Safety Group) and Paul Mascarenas (VP of Engineering) on down to folks like Jeffrey Laya (Safety Method Engineering Supervisor) who made me drive really fast toward a balloon car and then wait an unbearably long 2 seconds until the Collision Warning system alerted me to swerve around it, and Prashanth Shankar (Product Design Engineer) who managed to keep his lunch down and smile on his face the whole time he rode with us as we “drifted” in an out of lanes on the high-speed track to engage the Lane Departure Warning, the people at Ford were honestly and genuinely excited about this technology. It made it easy to get excited right along with them.

Prior to this day, I really wasn’t aware that Ford Motor Company has more 5-Star Safety Ratings than any other automaker. Seriously – it has the most top-rated safety picks of *any* automaker. Did you know that? Because honestly – if Alex Trebec had asked me on Jeopardy for $500 “this automaker has the highest number of models that have received top safety ratings” I’m not sure I would’ve come up with “What is Ford?” So I probably would’ve lost just due to that question. (But now I’m ready for it, so bring it on Alex! Just as soon as I brush up on my Geography & Opera again…)

Okay, all that Jeopardy-dreaming aside, the MyKey™ feature got the folks in the Center most excited. When they described what it did, I instantly understood why.

Yes, I know there are some who will think that the MyKey™ is “over-parenting” or maybe even bordering on “helicopter parenting” – but I don’t agree. Here’s why… because both of those phrases refer to parents who are trying to protect their precious offspring from any sort of harm or trauma. In this case? There’s more to think about than just your kids. When you put an unexperienced teenage driver behind the wheel of a car – you are handing him/her the keys to a deadly weapon.

Set aside (if you can) the fact that Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for young adults ages 16 to 20 and let’s focus on the fact that better than 50% of all U.S. car crash fatalities last year occurred when the vehicle was traveling 55mph or higher. Better than half. And those fatalities? Yeah, they weren’t all from the car with the driver at fault. Some of them were just ordinary people in the wrong place at the wrong time, doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing. People and families just like you or me who were at the mercy of someone else in a multi-ton vehicle going really fast down the road.

Is it a good idea to limit the speed of a vehicle of an inexperienced driver? In my book, unequivocally yes. Then again, GeekDaddy and I have shared our “I don’t know how I walked away from those years alive” stories about youthful driving antics and stupid things we did behind the wheel of a car. So we acknowledge just how likely it is that Buttercup is going to grow up to take risks that could put not only her, but someone else’s child/spouse/parent on that fatalities list.

But we’re not going to tell her not to drive. It’s an important and useful skill. It’s hard to be vehicle-less in our society – and besides, we both love cars. So if Ford wants to help me make it safer for her to be out there? Well I’m thrilled. Yes, she’s a good 10 years away from that necessity… but it’s nice to know that other responsible parents will be out there making their kids safer too. Because I drive on the same roads as those inexperienced teen drivers and I’d like to come home alive too.

What it comes down to though is whether or not a parent will use it. There will always be parents who will and parents who won’t. We all parent in our own way and according to our own philosophies. But for those who will? Thanks Ford, for making it standard. Because safety shouldn’t come at a premium in my book when lives are on the line.

Still with me? Or am I getting too preachy up here on my soap box? Well, I’ll assume that some of you still are and cover the other safety features now.

Collision Warning with Brake Support – I totally could’ve used this to avert my last ‘accident’ a couple of years ago. The guy in the van in front of me kept stopping short for a couple of miles. I kept telling myself I ought to get out from behind him… But I wanted to stay in that lane for where I was going so I didn’t. We stopped at a red light. (I say we, because of course I had a very young Buttercup in the back seat strapped in her carseat at the time… shudder.) The light changed to green. The traffic (including the big white van in front of me) surged forward. I put my foot lightly on the gas, then glanced down. I swear it was a glance. But it was long enough for the guy in front of me to decide (once again) to slam on his brakes. Did he have a reason? No. Did the laws of physics care one whit about that? No.

If I had been driving a Ford equipped with Collision Warning with Brake Support, my glance would’ve turned into me stepping on my pre-primed brakes thanks to the light & sound alerts and swearing at Van-boy and hoping Buttercup didn’t pick up any of those words. Instead, we slammed into his very solid bumper going about 10-15mph. This resulted in some serious front-end work on my car and a ticket from a nice officer who gave me a break b/c he knew just what I was talking about with the short-stopping so he only cited me for ‘unsafe driving for the weather conditions.’ It could’ve been a lot worse. But it could’ve been avoided altogether if I’d been driving a Ford with this system. Definitely a thumbs up in my book.

Lane Departure Warning – this seems like it’s got a number of different potential markets. Elderly drivers in my neighborhood seem to have a penchant for drifting over into the next lane. But it’s not just the elderly who are often paying attention elsewhere or suffering from conditions that might make for lane-drifting. The first year of Buttercup’s life, GeekDaddy and I were suffering from a level of sleep deprivation previously unknown to either of us. To say that she was a poor sleeper would be akin to saying that War & Peace is ‘a bit long.’ We spent that first year (and part of the next) going through life as zombies. In particular, there were many days that driving to and from any place was more a matter of half-awake routine. Lane-drifting? I know we both did it. Would’ve been nice to have the warning!

But let me add a note here. When I say ‘drift’ I mean drift… as in ‘gently moving slowly from one lane into the next without really being aware of it.’ One of the gentlemen of the press – who shall remain utterly nameless out of respect – in my party of 3 with the esteemed aforementioned Mr. Prashanth Shankar driving around the high speed track to test out the alerts had a hard time with this concept. After an entire lap of him veering sharply from lane-to-lane and remaining unsuccessful in his attempts to set off the alert, I felt compelled to try and keep my breakfast down in the back seat by speaking up and telling him “drift! It’s drift! Not lunge! Think ‘talking to someone in the passenger seat and drifting over’ not ‘try to take out the pedestrian for 50 points!’”

Granted, I was a bit um, strident. But I was trying to keep my bagel & cantaloupe from redecorating the back seat. May I also mention that Stephanie Brinley of Auto Pacific has nerves of steel and a cast-iron stomach? She managed to look down and write her review of the systems from the back seat during all of this. That woman is amazing!

Anyhow, the point of this test wasn’t so much the camera-driven Lane Departure System as it was Ford asking for feedback on the types of alerts. In the end, we all agreed that it would be nice to have a series of options, the audio alert that came from the speaker side that was being drifted to, the seat vibration alert on the same leg, a combination of both, and the ability to turn it off. No one was particularly impressed with the steering column alerts. Mostly because they didn’t really serve to tell you which direction and partially because it felt more like something was wrong with the steering than an alert. In my case, the last alert would have been useless in Colorado in the winter – as it pretty much felt exactly like what driving down a snow-covered street feels like. But I liked the solution we all did. I’d even probably ante-up the extra money for it, given the chance.

Blind Spot Mirror – I didn’t get to test, so no opinion. It seems like it makes sense, but I’m aware there’s a number of aftermarket options like this… so unless it was standard, can’t see that I’d pay extra for it.

BLIS (Blind Spot Information System) with Cross Traffic Alert – I loved this. But more for the parking lot functionality than anything else. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been parked between two huge Suburban Assault Vehicles and needed to back up out of a parking space “blind”. You slowly creep backwards, craning your neck, hoping that nothing is —-ZZZZZZZZZZOOOM!—- Suzy Suburbia in her haste to get to the nail salon goes whipping across, threatening to take out your bumper, your rear quarter panel, and any stray animals in the area. You jam your brakes on, the car lurches, you breathe a sigh of relief and start creeping out again.

With the Cross Traffic Alert? Long before Suzy gets even remotely close to you, a light goes on and an alert sounds, and you get an idea which side she’s trying to cut you off from. This would work just as well to keep Timmy the Paper Boy from trying to embed his bicycle in your wheelwell too. Or Buffy the neighbor-child from seeing if she can wedge her tricycle underneath your bumper.
The BLIS part? Where it tells you if someone is in your blindspot while driving? I’m torn. I think it’s really useful – but I’m sort of afraid that it would replace the tried and true “look over your shoulder first” method. It’s just sort of one more thing that can be helpful – if you’re the sort who would like the extra protection like I am.

I don’t know that I’d pay extra just for the blind-spot while driving alert, but bundeled with the ability to back up without having to worry about Suzy or Timmy or Buffy? Yeah, I’d probably go for it.

On the way back to the airport, I had a conversation with one of the writers from Wired’s GeekDad. We were discussing whether or not such technology makes people inherently lazier. Do we start trusting the technology rather than watching out for ourselves?

That’s a tough one.

I have friends who can’t get anywhere without their GPS navigators now… and no one seems to ever remember phone numbers because they’re stored in their phones. Do we come to rely on technology too much? Perhaps. But if the technology provides us with something that we clearly aren’t doing? Then I think it’s a good thing. So yeah. The odds are darn good that Buttercup’s first car will be a Ford if they keep pushing the safety technology envelope forward.

Thanks for letting me come play with the big guys for a day, Ford. But more? Thanks for making my world, and my family’s and friends’ world, safer all the time.

This is the first of 3 posts I’m going to write about this.  I decided to break it down into three for what seem to me to be very plausible reasons.  Reason #1? Because if I didn’t break it into multiple posts my usual long-winded tendencies might overwhelm even the most dedicated of readers – there’s so much to write about after what I experienced in a short 24 hour period.  Reason #2 – there are really 3 different types of posts.  This first one is all about the trip itself.  My usual rambling narrative (for those of you familiar with these little jaunts of mine) that talks about the trip itself, the adventures and mishaps, how I ended up going – you know… GeekMommy’s life as brought to you by the fine folks who keep the Internet up and running for us!**  The second one will be one of those ‘all facts, all tech, all wicked cool! Wish you could’ve been with me to hear this in person’ posts.  Because honestly – if you got to this site from a search engine query related to Ford Safety Media Forum keywords the last thing you’re going to want to hear about is my travel drama and you’re just going to want to hear all about the cool safety features they were introducing.  The third and final post? Well that’s my opinions.  Yes, technically, I could be all journalistic and just leave it at number two – but the thing is? I’m not a journalist.  I was there with dozens of really talented, really professional journalists and I know that some of them have already done some amazing writeups on the information so you can Google away and read those if you want impartial. Me? I’m a geek, a parent, and blogger – you ~know~ I’ve got an opinion (or 3) so I’m going to express them here.  But I will be putting that in its own little post. Again, because not everyone cares to hear what I think… (yeah, I know, right? heh!)

So where were we? Oh yes.  Sitting on the plane, in the rain, not writing.

You see, last week, I got a contact from Zoë Siskos – an amazing woman who works at The Social Media Group and whom I happen to follow avidly on Twitter.  She wondered if this event that Ford was having Monday would be something I’d be interested in covering.  She sent me a brief overview of some of the new features.  I wiped the drool off of my keyboard and emailed back that of course I’d love to go!

Since we were short on time and since I had a bunch of other stuff on my plate, I didn’t really push for too much information.  I knew that @QueenofSpain (Erin Kotecki Vest) had attended a similar Ford event and had really enjoyed the experience so I signed on board and trusted that the folks at Ford & the Social Media Group knew what they were doing inviting me.  I suppose that turns out to be for the best, because otherwise I might’ve been too intimidated to go.  There were a couple of other parent/tech bloggers there – Dave Banks from Geek Dad, and Daddy Troy and Daddy Brad from Dad Labs were there as well.  Which made me feel a bit less overwhelmed when I found myself in a room full of serious automotive journalists… but only a bit.

Fortunately for me, the amazing @scottmonty (Scott Monty) was along for the ride and he put me at ease right away – as did every person I met from Ford during the experience.  So I kicked over into “interested parent mode” and “avid driving enthusiast perspective” quickly and watched as the event rolled out around me.

I will back-track a moment to say though that I did experience my moment of panic.  Thanks to the storm, I didn’t get in to Detroit until just past 11pm and didn’t get into my hotel until nearly midnight!  Which meant when I found myself without the next day’s agenda in my room, I didn’t dare bring myself to wake someone else up to hold my hand and reassure me that I was in the right place.  Again fortunately for me, Tony McCloud from Ford and the aforementioned Scott Monty got me thru the rough bit in the morning without reacting negatively at all to my sleep-deprived mildly hysterical antics.

I should mention that I discovered a neat Catch-22 about traveling by plane these days!  You see, as we were boarding, there was a storm looming… we would’ve made it out in time, except that the one lavatory on the jet needed to be serviced before we left.  That 10 minute delay meant that we were sitting on the plane waiting to back up when the lightning storm hit.  In a lightning storm out on the plains, the Airport Manager (a job my sister-in-law’s Dad used to fill at DIA for many years) can and usually does call for the ground personnel and ramp attendants to come off the tarmac.  This is apparently because there have actually been incidents where someone was struck by lightning.  So, when this happens, there’s no ground guy to back the plane up – so the plane can’t leave the gate.  Additionally, the gate agent isn’t allowed down the ramp, so there’s no way to deplane the passengers.  This means that you’re officially stuck in limbo. Can’t fly out. Can’t get off.

Yes, yes – I know “passengers bill of rights… yadda yadda…” but honestly? Nothing the crew can do about it.  They’re just as stuck as you are.  In this case, they tried to make the best of it, but we sat there in the rain for an hour and a half wondering if the 3rd engine that powered the lights, air conditioning, etc was going to use all the gas before we could take off.

So then.  Now that we’re done with the plane drama – back to the event itself.

I found myself getting on a shuttle and going over to the Ford Product Development Center with many other badged folks… most of whom were asking each other if they ‘were in Paris last week? ‘  A bit of Googling that night let me know that they were all abuzz about the Paris Motor Show 2008.  As I said – these were some very serious automotive journalists.  Fortunately, there were a number of women amongst them.  So although I was the only non-Dad blogger there, I didn’t stand out simply due to my gender.  Which was a welcome surprise that told me not a little bit about my own preconceived bias.

photo by Erin Kotecki Vest

They started out by feeding us. Then gave us a presentation on the new My Key (which as I mentioned earlier will be covered in the next post!) and an overview of what safety features we were going to be seeing and testing that day.  The overview included rules of the track – because yes, we were allowed to drive (under the supervision of some very helpful and knowledgable engineers) on the actual high speed test track in order to experience some of the features in action – and what we were going to be testing for the time we were there.  Then we piled into vans by colored bands (mine was blue… and when the blue group was merged into the remaining purple and green groups I noted that I could be either by the simple addition of a different primary color! Yes, I know… ubergeek) and headed out to the facility.

After the tests we were fed yet again – Lunch! And most excellent, I might add – while listening to a more in-depth presentation on My Key showing us a computer simulation of the programming of a key.

It all ended way too quickly.  Personally? I wanted to go badger the engineers more, asking geek question after geek question… but that’s not really what I was there for.  Shortly afterward we were whisked back to the hotel, then I got in a car with Dave from Geek Dad to head to the airport as we said goodbye to the guys from Dad Labs while they did the same.

The way home saw me stopping over in O’Hare – where my flight to Denver had a wait list of 100 people and a ‘confirmed but not seated’ list of a couple dozen.  They were asking for volunteers for a bump to the next flight with flight voucher – and since I can always use one of those, I called up GeekDaddy and let him know I was going to volunteer and would be in a couple hours later.  Unfortunately for me, the 2 unhappy gate agents got distracted at the wrong time by the most inebriated woman I’ve ever seen in an airport… and they took my name off in order to bump me, but then forgot to, so they ended up putting me back on the flight.  Given that the woman in question was passing out in the ‘premier’ carpeted line and that she didn’t know her own name or the name of the party that had her ticket? I can kind of sympathize.  While waiting, I did hear the senior agent they called in to handle her figure out that she was a) in the wrong terminal, and b) at the wrong airline, and c) going to be taken away in a nice wheelchair now…

The flight home from there was relatively uneventful.  I was in the exit row of a 757 tho, so I had leg-room for the first time in awhile.  But I was happy to be home, yet thrilled to have been included.  It’s not every day you get to see life-changing technology being introduced to the public.  But as I said – that’s for the next couple of posts – which I fully intend to get to you tomorrow. Sort of a 2-for-1 since it’s late deal.

I guess I just expect more of print editors than I do television producers.  I mean “Are You Better Educated Than a 5th Grader?” isn’t going to draw the standard Fox prime time audience, now is it? Nor I suspect would “What Did You Forget Between 5th Grade and Now?”

But if you’re sending me a free, unsolicited magazine in the hopes that I’ll consider it a good enough source for parenting advice to later subscribe to it? You had better hire both writers and editors who understand that there’s a difference between “smarter than” and being able to recall facts that you learned by rote memorization when you were eleven (or six in the case of the 1st graders.)

Honestly.  It’s bad enough that Fox has managed to convince such a large portion of the population that intelligence is directly correlated to what ‘factoids’ you remember from your elementary education years (yes, Jeopardy! did a good enough job of that for years without a misnomer) but they weren’t trying to sell me something.  Yeah, I didn’t give their show sponsors high marks for choosing to advertise during that show either.

Personally, I know that I’m smarter than many a 5th grader – and 1st grader for that matter – but I also know that Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein were both that age once and their heirs are probably out there learning math right now.  Hopefully, they are intelligent enough to be able to realize that a good education is priceless, but so is a good editor.  Wondertime ought to consider hiring one.

Wouldn’t it have been great then if we could’ve convinced her not to grip her pen/pencil/crayon like it was a drumstick?  Her writing might’ve been a little less cavegirl-esque early on!  Granted, she would’ve still occasionally written stuff “mirror-backwards” (she gets that from me, unfortunately) but it would’ve been mostly legible!

Over the weekend, GeekDaddy tried to start helping Buttercup with some “handwriting homework” – mostly writing her name in proper Title Case along with those lower-case letters.  He tried to get her to hold her pencil correctly only to have a melt-down battle.  I tried next and got her to hold it somewhat like one is supposed to, but couldn’t convince her that it would be easier if the eraser pointed toward her rather than away.

We got through the homework, but GeekDaddy and I decided we’d need to talk to her teacher – Mrs. J – and let her know that we needed to work on this both at home and at school.

Imagine my surprise then when Buttercup was writing a letter to a family member of ours this afternoon after school and holding the pencil correctly!

I was stunned.

The difference was night and day – really.  Here I was thinking “wow! I must’ve really made an impression! I can’t believe how far she’s gotten in just 2 days!”

Then GeekDaddy came home and put one of these in my hand.  It’s called a Stetro pencil grip. I’ve never heard of such a thing.  I couldn’t even figure out what it did at first.  Then he told me that Mrs. J had given him ‘a couple extra to take home.’

It seems this morning, just as Buttercup sat down to work in her notebook, GeekDaddy was in the midst of talking to Mrs. J about the handwriting thing and before he could get to it she said “Oh! I have something for Buttercup!” and got one of these out and put it on her pencil.  There’s a little arrow that goes right between the finger and thumb and points downward to the paper.  After that? the fingers just fall into place.  Within moments, Buttercup was writing with a properly positioned pencil as if she’d been doing it that way all of her life.

And as soon as GeekDaddy put one of the ones on her pens at home? The same thing.  So basically? It wasn’t 2 days and a wonder-Mom.  It was a few hours and a gadget.  Having tried it myself, I can say that I think it would work for just about anyone – even doctors with lousy handwriting!

Buttercup's Hand

Dang. I wish I had invented this.

As it is? GeekDaddy and I have discovered that you can buy them in bulk.  So we’re going to be buying a couple of dozen to donate to the pre-school where Buttercup went last year.  And a couple dozen more to give to any parents of pre-schoolers/kindergartners we know.  Because seriously – even without it this afternoon – she was holding the pencil correctly.  Makes me wish we’d had it when I was 5.

(This is a completely unsolicited and uncompensated review/endorsement of this product. All opinions expressed are those of the author of this blog.)

At this point, you guys are friends, right?

I will note that nothing I’ve reviewed on this site so far, including what I’m about to talk about has been pitched to me, nor have I been remunerated in any way by any of the companies whose sites or products I have reviewed.  If that were ever to happen, you’d better believe I’d be up front about it.  But in the case of the stuff I’ve reviewed so far, it’s just UberCool stuff I thought I should share.

Okay, that out of the way.  Let’s talk about two UberCool products that I’m all about today.

The first one is Downy Wrinkle Releaser.

Now this little bottle has a magic potion in it. Seriously.  I went out and bought a new bottle today to take with me to San Francisco this week.  Because when it comes down to it? I loathe ironing.

I first heard about this product last year before going on a cruise.  The folks over on the DisBoards were all raving about how wonderful it was – especially since you can’t take irons on-board a cruise ship – not even travel irons.

I got my first bottle thinking “yeah, well, at worst it will work as well as a spray bottle filled with water – but if it does work better, cool!”

Now? My husband has to convince me not to use it on everything.  Yeah, seriously, it’s cheaper to iron.  But it’s faster and easier to spritz something with this, tug a bit, and Voila! you have a garment that looks better than it does after most ironing jobs.

And if you really want to be rocking it? you can use this as a spray before ironing.  It gets the wrinkles out faster and easier and leaves a nice clean scent too.

Before someone posts to tell me how “Product X” works pretty much the same or that you could do the same thing more cheaply by just hanging suitcase-creased clothes in a steamy bathroom – let me just tell you – if you had tried this, you wouldn’t say that.  It’s kind of creepy how well it works.  Especially on those “little girl dresses” that look so pristine in the store, on the hanger, but the first time they come out of the dryer are a mass of wrinkles that defy any normal-sized iron…

I honestly recommend this product to everyone & anyone who will listen to me.  The do have a nifty 3 oz. Travel Size option for those business travelers doing the carry-on routine – but I’ve never seen it in the stores.  But, once you are hooked, you can always by them in bulk here.  I meant to do that before this trip but time slipped away, so I’ll be lugging enough for a dozen other BlogHer friends to de-wrinkle-ify themselves too.

Still, if I were traveling as much for business as some of my friends, believe me, I’d be knee-deep in these carry-on size ones.  Faster, easier, and better results than the hotel iron.

Trust me, LazyMommies always find the easiest way to do something!

Speaking of which, today while I was at the store buying the bottle of liquid de-wrinkling magic known as Downie Wrinkle Releaser, I sort of stumbled into another completely unrelated product that will now be going on my list of must-haves.

Duncan Hines Oven Ready! Homestyle Brownies

Oh. My. Gosh.

Buttercup, ever the eagle-eyed dessert connoisseur, saw these when we were standing in the Frozen Desserts section while I was perusing the 100-calorie-won’t-make-you-feel-guilty frozen offerings.

“Mommy! Brownies!” she squealed, looking at the conveniently placed at a 5-yr-old’s eye-level box you see here.

Granted, she’s been teaching herself how to read for the past few weeks – but who needs reading skills when there’s a picture like that on the box?

Since I succumb willingly to MommyGuilt on a regular basis, and since I’m leaving tomorrow and won’t get to see her until Sunday, and since I personally love a good brownie and plan on excising them from my diet when I get back next week, I took the box out and looked it over.

Did I mention it was the last box left in the freezer?  Surrounded by dozens of other tempting treats that were all fully stocked, this one lone little box was sitting there looking like it might disappear if I waited too long.  (Yes, yes, I know – but I’m good at rationalizing stuff to myself!)

So. The box said that I could take out the little tray that the batter is in straight from the freezer, peel off the plastic, put it into a 350 oven for 25-27 minutes and *Poof!* perfectly baked “Homestyle Brownies” in a disposable tray.  No mixing, no mess, no cleanup.

How could I resist?

Well you know I couldn’t, so I didn’t.  We got home, pre-heated the oven, opened the box, peeled the plastic, threw the little trayful of frozen brownie batter on a cookie sheet, popped it in the oven and waited 27 minutes.

Annnnnd then we waited another half hour because GeekMommy is evil & mean & cruel and forgot that she was waiting for them to cool down until a forlorn Buttercup reminded her with “can we have a brownie now Mommy??!!?”

Okay, granted, these only taste “homestyle” if the only kind of brownies you’ve ever made in your home come from a box. But if the only brownies you’ve ever made come from a box? These are bound to be better.

Maybe it’s that the industrial mixing & measuring that occurs long before it exits the Duncan Hines factory – which is surely more efficient than what we can do in our little home kitchens – but these are darn near perfect brownies.

Just ask Buttercup.  She snarfed hers down quickly and asked for another one. (No, not until after dinner! I’m lazy, but I’m not really that bad of a Mom.)  Okay, yeah, 5-year-old-palates may not be that discerning when it comes to brownies – but mine disappeared just as quickly.  Yeah, I wanted another one too.  But I’m trying to save the rest for when GeekDaddy gets home and we’re done with dinner.  Given that you get about 8 decent sized brownies out of the tray, that means 2 more for each of us.

Shh! He doesn’t have to know that Buttercup & I already snarfed one each, does he?

Meanwhile, I’ll be putting a couple of these in my freezer for those times when I need to look like UberMom by “actually baking” without really having to do anything much.  I highly recommend it for anyone needing to take brownies to a ‘function’ as well – I mean, the tray is disposable.  Cool.   So Duncan Hines Oven Ready! Homestyle Brownies get a huge thumbs up!

Okay, now I’m going to go play with Buttercup given how much brownie-fueled energy we both have!! See ya!

(Buttercup, with crayon in hand, writing on a manila folder)
Buttercup: “Mommy, what’s the next letter in ‘the’? I’ve got T-H.”
Me: “E, honey.”
she writes an E
B: “Mommy, how do you spell ‘egg’?”
Me: “E-G-G, honey.”
writes it
B: “Mommy, how do you spell ‘by’?”
Me: “B-Y, Buttercup…”
writes it and starts writing her name
Me: “I’m guessing you know how to spell your name…” smiling.
B: “Yes, but Mommy? How do you spell ‘illustrated’?”
I burst out laughing in surprise
Me: “Um, that one is a little longer honey.”

Yes, she actually had me spell the whole thing out for her and wrote it on there… but wow.

I mean, I realize they talked about that sort of thing at school, because we spent a month singing the praises of “Eric Carle” and “Leo Lionni” but I wasn’t expecting ‘illustrated’ to come out of her mouth just then.

Kindergarten should be fun next year!

It’s also the first day of ‘Summer Break’ for Buttercup – or from my perspective, the first day of ‘you get no break until camp starts.’

We played. We went to McDonald’s. We went to Target. We played. She’s said “Mommy…” about 3 gazillion times at intervals no greater than 3 minutes at a time. Even when she was out playing in the backyard, she’d come back and open the door to tell me her random thoughts every 2 minutes.

Did I mention that thanks to Mother Nature it’s also the first day of that monthly curse of mine, Extreme-Bitchitude-Brought-On-By-PMS? (If I didn’t, well, you would’ve figured it out quickly enough if you had to spend more than 5 minutes in my presence.)

So it has been um… challenging – that’s a good word – yeah, it has been challenging today.

GeekDaddy came home at long last and relieved me of child duty. This would normally mean I sighed, relaxed, and took just enough time to turn normal again before her bedtime. Instead, due to the E.B.B.O.B.PMS, it meant I could be bitchy by myself in the corner for a few minutes while he fielded the new slew of “Daddy… Daddy… Daddy…” utterings.

But just now, one of those moments happened that made me laugh so hard that I almost snorted, despite my foul little, black mood. It’s probably not funny to anyone outside of me and GeekDaddy, but I’m sharing it because if you have kids, you’ve had these moments yourself with yours – and it’s the WTF? moment that lightens you up despite yourself.

GeekDaddy: “say Buttercup, what vegetables would be good with dinner?”
Buttercup: “Carrots… like a bunny, I want carrots.” (hop, hop, hopping around)
GD: “Bunny Carrots? and how about Bunny Corn?”
B: “No, Daddy, it’s not Bunny Corn.”
GD: “It’s not?”
B: “No, Daddy, it’s Piggy Corn.”
GD: “Bunny Carrots and Piggy Corn… and what animal do you suppose likes edamame?”
B: (thinks for a second) “Raccoons.”

Yeah, it’s probably not as funny to you – but it cracked me up so hard I just about spit water on my laptop. Because you know – raccoons… they’re huge edamame fans. Heard they like sushi too.

Seriously, my daughter’s brain is so much more complex than mine.

Raccoons?

GeekDaddy says we must have a bunch of heart healthy raccoons around here. I just wonder who their soy supplier is.